writing physical letters
is something i wish i did more often. There's more substance to a letter than a text message or phone call. With texting, for me, its merely an exchange of information: whats the address, what is your eta. I dont really have full on conversations over text anymore, it can be too... stilted? I feel the need to keep it brief lest it turns into a wall of text, which then I feel should just be a phone call. But calls are also limiting in that the conversation is in real time, and sometimes I don't know what I think or want to say until it is already coming out of my mouth. Writing something has the benefit of revisions and organization, I can do drafts of my thoughts and actually polish and prepare them rather than spewing them out over the phone.
So I've resolved to write letters to my three closest friends. I purchased some fancy stationary on amazon, along with a wax set. For extra fun I typed up the letters and then fed it through a Shakespearean translator. A paragraph like this about my planned honeymoon,
Most excitingly, my wife and I have purchased our plane tickets for our honeymoon to Thailand! We shall be flying into Bangkok the capital city but will quickly take a domestic flight to the northern region and spend some time in Chiangmai. There we shall enjoy many a street food and market and jungle hiking. We plan there to book a through hike in one of the major parks which includes accommodations on a floating river house, and all meals. Very cheap at only a few tens of dollars per day. From there we travel to southern Thailand to Krabi, there we plan to splurge on a luxury resort for a few days, and then small hostels at other times. Finally we will end our journey back in the capital city for more of a downtown vibe: partying, dancing, and night life tomfoolery.
Turns into this lovely bit of scrollwork,
Most joyous tidings! My good wife and I have procured passage upon a winged chariot for our honeymoon to the Kingdom of Siam! We shall alight in Bangkok, the capital city, but swiftly take wing again on a domestic flight to the northern reaches, and spend some time in Chiangmai. There, we shall delight in many a street victual and marketplace, and traversings of the jungle's paths. We do intend to secure passage for a lengthy peregrination through one of the principal parks, wherein shall be found lodgings upon a riverine house that doth float, with victuals provided. 'Tis monstrous cheap, at but a few score of shillings each day. Thence, we shall wend our way to Southern Siam, to Krabi, where we purpose to lavish upon a sumptuous resort for a handful of days, thereafter contenting ourselves with humble hostels at sundry times. Finally, we shall conclude our travels back in the capital city, seeking a more citified air: revelry, dancing, and nocturnal fooleries.
I wrote the original text less casually than I normally would to give the translator a fighting chance. It took a few iterations and edits on the translation as some words were too obscure to be readable, and other phrasings completely lost the original meaning of the text. My favorite piece so far is when explaining to my friend the sudden change in my vocabulary,
Perhaps you may be surprised at my sudden gained eloquence and verbosity, but fear not I have not been kidnapped nor drugged. I am using a magical device known as a Shakespearean powered translator, truly astounding this technology.
becomes,
Perchance thou art astonied at my sudden-grown elocution and prolixity, yet fear not, for I have not been spirited away nor dosed with potions. I do employ a wondrous engine, a translator of Shakespearean might, a marvel most truly astounding to behold!
Absolutely fantastic.
After some deliberation on my own shortcomings as a neat handwriter, I decided to print the final copies with a nice script font. Getting the margins correct took a few iterations (plus accidentally putting the bordered paper in upside down). But the final prints came out quite nice.
After folding the papers and came the wax stamp for sealing the envelopes. This was the best part. It seems that four pieces is enough to fill the entire seal while not being too messy. Very satisfying to melt them and pour the hot wax onto the envelope, it feels like being in game of thrones.
Pouring the hot wax,
Now off they go! I await their tidings with eager heart.