what's write for me
in an ironic twist I feel the need to write about writing.
i dont feel like im writing for me anymore, and i want to get back to that. i want to write what i want. and part of the reason im feeling this way is that ive been reading so much bearblog, either on recent or the ones im rss subscribed to. and that of course affects what i think about and what is going on in my mind, and in some way informs what i think people want to read about. and so ive been hesitant to write because im comparing myself to others and to what they post and to what i think an audience wants to read. but thats not at all why i started this blog in the first place. i wanted to blog because i wanted a place for me to flesh out my thoughts and talk about my life experiences for the benefit of polishing them and on the chance that someone else might get something out of it. i dont want like a following or to write to the masses. i wanted to write about my stuff and to reference it later when i needed it again. i wanted to have a final resting place for some of my ideas thats better than sitting in a notebook or text file for no one to ever possibly see, and instead have it posted publicly on the chance that someone else can benefit from my own experiences.
I remember in undergrad when i would scroll reddit alot. I remember a few times when talking to people irl they would present an opinion or punchline about something as their own, but I would recall having seen that exact take or joke on reddit! I'd rather have heard your take, you, the real person in front of me right now. Bearblog is different than reddit in that it's a lot of small genuine posts and less homogenized (ever notice how every highly voted reddit comment reads like the same 2 or 3 people). Yet still because i read so many bearblogs, I feel like I'm losing my own thoughts amongst the chorous of others'.
so I'm going to turn off the analytics for my blog, and also take a break from reading bearblogs in general because there's too much of other people's thoughts and opinions bouncing around my head. I dont want to be that guy that parrots reddit comments, I want to recover what I think.
-Bruce